Fluffy Kink Onsen
by Spicy Lime 63
Summary: GaaLee What happens when Gaara and Lee get too close?....Chapter 4 might be coming a little later than usual...we're waiting for a very...special...scene.
1. Chapter 1

Warning - major crack fic ahead has been known to cause excessive drooling, dying of laughter, and stupidity.

To answer a few questions: Yes, this is after the Shukaku was extracted form Gaara, yes, Gaara can still freely control the sand, and yes Lee is totally oblivious to sex...at the beginning of the story.

Pairing- Gaa/lee some Kaka/gai and sasu/naru

Lee- age 21

Gaara- age 19

------

Prologue

After being the Kazekage for nearly six years, Gaara decides to quit because the people of Suna still hate and fear him. That being said Gaara decides to move to Konoha where he at least has some friends and to get a new-ish start on life. Now back to reality...or so we hope...

------

Chapter 1

"YOSH!!! GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!" CRASH! Lee shouted as he broke down Gai's bedroom door.

"Hey...is that a new taijutsu move?" Lee asked, seeing Gai and Kakashi tangled up under the sheets of Gai's bed.

'I can not let Lee's flames of youth be extinguished by the truth.' Gai thought.

"Yes...it is a new taijutsu move to capture an opponent in an onsen. (hot spring)" Gai said quickly. "I just asked Kakashi over here to help me practice. Right Kakashi?" he said gesturing to Kakashi.

"Yeah, whatever." Kakashi said cooly "now get back down here." He said trying to get Gai back under him and on the bed.

"AHHHH KAKASHI!!!" Gai cried "YOU AND YOUR COOL WAYS!" Gai screamed as he started to cry dramatically.

"Alright!" POOF! pen and paper appear out of no where in Lee's hand.

"I shall take notes!" Lee said as he started jotting down as much information as possible.

"NOOOOO! It is not...perfected...yeah, perfected...I mean...NO, STOP!" Gai improvised while trying to get away from Kakashi when he realized that Kakashi was still in and straddling him.

"Then I shall go and perfect this new technique! I shall make you proud, Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted and disappeared with inhuman speed.

"Fuck!" Gai yelled, trying to pry himself away from Kakashi "You have got to let me go. I have to go stop him! PLEASE LET ME GO!!!!"

"No, you told me you wanted to 'practice' so you are going to stay here and 'practice' some more. Now come here." Kakashi said while teasing one of Gai's nipples. Gai moaned and shuddered at the sudden attention and gladly obliged and forgot about Lee.

------

Meanwhile with Gaara...

'Damn Naruto and his fucking ramen, running off on me in the middle of our sparring match!' Gaara thought with hatred while striding down the Konoha streets. The sand around him swirled viciously in reply to the anger and the amount of chakra build up Gaara had from the unfinished match. 'I think i should take a break from his idiocy or else it might rub off on me. I know, I'll go to the onsen and relax.' Gaara thought with a smirk.

Later...

Gaara was in the onsen relaxing with a game of kill the bubbles. (Note: Gaara is the only person to whom you can have relax and kill in the same sentence with.) He found a particularly stubborn bubble. He poked it, it wouldn't pop. He swat at it...it wouldn't burst. He got pissed and finally pounced on it...only to find himself hanging upside down on the bubble. SPLASH! He fell into the water.

RAWR!... (when I say pissed that's an understatement) "SICK IT, SAND!" he shouted grinning in triumph. Only to find that the bubble had turned into many more.

It just so happens that at this time Lee decided to enter the onsen. As Lee entered, he saw Gaara in there. So he thought 'Who better to test out this new taijutsu on?'

Gaara didn't seem notice Lee sneaking up on him, as he was preoccupied giving death glares to the multiple bubbles. Then at the last minute, as Lee was about to pounce, the sand came up and grabbed Lee, spinning him around in the air and then levitating him upside down.

"What are you doing?" Gaara asked.

"Well, you see...I was..." Lee never got to finish, as he was dunked head first into the water. Repeatedly.

"going..." DUNK

"to..." DUNK

"practice..." DUNK

"a new..." DUNK

"Were you going to say "Practice a new 'ninjutsu' move?" Gaara asked, a little bit curious.

"No. It is a taijutsu move." stated Lee with his thousand watt smile. ...DUNK! Lee is held under for more than he should have been

------

Meanwhile...in Gaara's mind...

'Should I kill the freaky bastard now...and mess with his sweet, delicious, red, metalic, blood...Blood...BLOOD!' thought a now hyperventalating Gaara. 'Or should I let him live and torture him slowly and painfully?' thought Gaara now sporting a cheshire grin. (AKA: means bad things about to happen. (AUTHORS NOTE: slowly edging away from Gaara...little bit further...RUN!!!!))

------

Normal (or so we hope) point of view:

Gaara decides...to PLAY! chibi Gaara does happy dance (AKA: play means slow, painful torture.)

Sorry this chapter is such a cliff-hanger but we had to start some where!!

yes this was made by 2 people we call each other...

COOKIE DOUGH

and

LOLLIPOP

sadistic and twisted sex scenes to come in next chapter..don't worry there will be cute and cuddly ones too later on in the story but not while gaara is in charge now!!!...

NOTE: remember this IS a crack story...that doesn't mean we are ON crack it means that we write stories LIKE we are on crack, but are not. Just to clarify that... Next chapter coming soon!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto or it's characters in any way shape or form nor do we make any money from this so get over yourselves!

Warning - major crack fic ahead has been known to cause excessive drooling, dying of laughter, and stupidity.

To answer a few questions: Yes, this is after the Shukaku was extracted form Gaara, yes, Gaara can still freely control the sand, and yes Lee is totally oblivious to sex...at the beginning of the story.

Note: Lolliepop likes to do these: while Cookie Dough Likes: o0 

_**Rate and Review plz**_

Pairing- Gaa/lee some Kaka/gai and sasu/naru

Lee- age 21  
Gaara- age 19

------ 

Previously...

Gaara decides...to PLAY! chibi Gaara does happy dance (AKA: play means slow, painful torture.) 

------

Gaara, after much deliberation, decides to 'play' with Lee. Then, realizing that Lee is still under the water, he slowly drags him out. (I mean slowly drags him out) and sees his glistening body. (AUTHORS NOTE: O.o) 'Nice ass...WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! What the hell am I thinking?!'

As Lee is lifted out, gasping for breath, he manages to scream out "Gaara-kun, what was that last dunk about?"

"You should know better than to try out a new taijutsu move on me." Gaara stated flatly.

Lee, still oblivious to Gaara's thoughts, stated "Well...I was hoping you could help me perfect this new taijutsu move that Gai-sensei and Kakahsi-sensei showed me. Here. Would you like to see a picture of it that I snapped without them noticing?" Pulls out gigantic, poster-sized picture and hands to Gaara.

Gaara takes one look at picture and face vaults (A/N: lands flat on his face for those of you who are like me and didn't know what that ment the first time I heard it o0). 'WTF!' "Um...Lee...how did you get this?" ask Gaara in a sort of scared tone, ignoring the pure physics on how the poster didn't get wet when Lee was dunked and where Lee had pulled it out from.

"I walked in on them practicing it!" says Lee in a sing-song voice with a giant smile and shiny teeth that could blind you.

In fact, it would for most people, but with Gaara, it was the opposite. 'shiiiinnnnyyyyy.' thought Gaara in a sort of trance as he slowly edged closer and closer and closer...

Meanwhile, Lee noticed Gaara acting strange, so he closed his mouth...and...

Their mouths met. (AUTHORS NOTE: ...o0 like noone saw that one coming)

------

REVIEW PPL PLZ!! and Rate too yeah...lol but REVIEW!!!!!!

------

Gaara's thoughts:

'What tastes so good?' he thought in pure ecstacy.

'It sort of tastes like...cookies...I WANT MORE!' thought Gaara possessively.

'Well sience Lee want to "Practice" this new "Taijustu" move i suppose I could play along and get what i want without him even realizing it!! heeheehee' Gaara thought sadisticly.

------

Lee's thoughts:

'Wow! This looks like one of the parts of that taijutsu that Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei showed me. Maybe Gaara-kun does want to help!' Lee thought happily. 'Although this does feel good in its own way.'

------

Normal POV (o0):

Their random meeting of lips heated up as Gaara took his plan into action and started to nibble at the older boy's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Lee, oblivious to what Gaara was doing, opened his mouth to try and talk only to have a warm, wet tounge enter his mouth, licking his own tounge, asking to join in on the fun, but, Lee being oblivious to sex in every way, spoiled the fun and turned his head away.

"So do you want to help me practice?" Lee said brightly brushing off the random meeting of lips.

"Sure" Gaara said emotionlessly as he dived in for another kiss.

Nevertheless, Lee stopped him and asked, "What do you think you are doing? How can we perfect this new taijutsu if I don't show you?"

"I know of this taijutsu and I think i am fairly good at it here let me show you how to do it." Gaara said with a menacing smile...(o0 uhoh)

It was at this horrible time that Sasuke and Naruto (who are a couple now) decided to come in and ruin everything by spraying them both with water guns. It was at this point that Gaara got seriously pissed and Screamed:

"WTF GOOD WILL THAT DO?? WE ARE IN A FUCKING ONSEN FOR GOD DAMN SAKE!!!! FUCKING MORONS AND NARUTO WTF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING... OH I GET IT; YOU RAN OFF WITH SASUKE INSTEAD OF SPARRING WITH ME HOW CONVIENIENT WELL GOD DAMN IT GET OVER HERE WE ARE GOING TO FINISH OUR LITTLE MATCH gets out of onsen and starts chasing Naruto all around while Naruto is screaming for sasuke's help"

"So you think I'm stupid you dobe? I ain't getting in the way of Gaara when he is like this but I wish you the best of luck though." Sasuke said as he started getting into the onsen and the waterguns now nowhere to be seen.(wow so much for "relaxing trip to onsen" for Gaara)

So Sasuke and Lee sat there watching Gaara beat the crap out of Naruto while they had some small talk.

"I really don't know what i see in that dobe...sometimes I wonder why I even bother SIGH" Sasuke said in a montone voice.

"...what do u mean see in him?" Lee asked confused.

"Me and Naruto are dating...have been for a while now, about 2 years to be exact." Sasuke said with a little emotion this time (OMG YAY)

"YOU AND SASUKE ARE DATING!?!?!?!?!? BUT YOUR BOTH BOYS!?!?!?...right?...o0 confused" Lee said dramtically.

"YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T REALIZED AFTER ALL THIS TIME!?!?!?!?" Sasuke finally was shoked at what he just hear. He honestly thought it was really ovbious to everyoone, but then again Lee isn't like everyone else..."So are you like...COMPLETLY oblivious to sex and relationships??" Sasuke asked scared of the answer.

"...O.O..."

"WHAT!?!?!??!?!" Sasuke shouted at the response he got. It was at this time that Gaara and Naruto stopped trying to kill eachother and they all started trying to explain sex and relation ships to lee...which righ tnow was liek trying to talk to a brick wall because he was so shoked and confused at the fact the 2 boys would go out with eachother.

-----

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CLIFFIE!!!!! HAHAHAHA

neways

RATE AND REVIEW PLZ!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Yeah u get the point I/we don't own naruto get over it already

* * *

After many useless hours of trying to explain to Lee the birds and the bees, they just gave up. He was completely and utterly hopeless on the subject. 

Well, Gaara got pissed and grabbed Lee by the hand and led him to his home. When they finally got there, Gaara took Lee into Temari's room and dug under the mattress of her bed looking for something.

"Gaara-kun, what is this about? And what were they trying to say? I just don't get it. I mean… the guy tak… What's that?" he asked when he saw Gaara with a HUGE stack of books.

"These are Temari's books. Maybe this will help you to understand what we're talking about.

After a few hours of reading Temari's dirty books, Lee was fully blushing.

"Um… Gaara-kun. Why… This is… That can't possibly." He kept trying to think of what to say. "Um… why does Temari have such… graphic…books… about that jutsu?"

Gaara just face vaulted. "Well, you see sex is when a man and woman…" he stopped because Lee screamed.

"MY EYES!!!"

"Um… Lee. What's the matter?" Gaara said while trying to look at the book lee was waving around in his hand.

Gaara, of course got sick of playing catch-the-mother-fucknig-book-that-lee-is-trying-to-flinging-around game and had his sand take it out of Lee's hands. After a few pages, he had a thoughtful look on his face. He got many ideas from this book. What is this book you may ask. Well, it just so happened to be a yaoi manga. With pretty graphic scenes. 'Wonder what Temari's doing with this.' He thought.

"Um… Gaara. What is that?!" Lee shouted rubbing his eyes, muttering something that sounded like dirty books and that shouldn't go there.

Gaara threw the book back into Lee's lap and said "Well, Lee, this is called a yaoi manga. It has guys having sex with each other. As you can see, the guy sticks…" Lee screamed again and jumped out of the window to get away from the weird things that he was hearing all day.

By the end of the day, Lee was deeply confused. Apparently that onsen jutsu was sex. And apparently Gai-sensei was having this sex with Kakashi-sensei. He didn't know if he was disturbed or ok with this so-called "yaoi".

'Well, maybe that jutsu is just called "sex" as a cover. But, then, why is it in so many of Temari-chan's books? Maybe it's a really well known taijutsu move that Gai-sensei and everyone else knows! How could they not tell me?!!!' (sniffle sniffle). As Lee started crying, Sasuke was walking by. He seemed to be muttering about some stupid shinobi with silver hair and glasses, but Lee couldn't be sure because he was still bawling. Quite loudly, actually.

* * *

Meanwhile…miles away, Kabuto sneezed. "Someone must be talking about me." He muttered to himself. Stupid sneeze was interrupting an important interrogation. 

"So…who is this whelp, Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto said darkly, with an I-will-kill-you-in-your-sleep glare aimed at a white-haired boy with snake-like eyes.

"He's my long lost son!" Orochimaru squealed and glomped the boy, who was now smiling evilly at Kabuto.

'Must. Resist. Urge. To. Kill. Boy. Or… Wait. I know…I can always hire mercenaries to do the job. (smirk) Ku ku ku.'

* * *

Um… Back to Konoha… 

While Lee was still deep in thought, many people were snickering because little did he know that he brought the yaoi manga with him and was sitting in his lap for the public to view. It was at this time Naruto came up to Lee and was all like "...o0...ok...hey i should try that one on Sasuke...SASUKE-TEME!!! GET YOUR ARROGANT ICE IMPALED BUTT OVER HERE!!" Naruto screamed trying to find his boyfriend.

IT was well into the night before Lee snapped out of his thoughts about what had happened. That is when Lee finally realized that...hey it was dark out he should go home and go to bed! 'Maybe this will all make sense in the morning' Lee thought hopefully.

When he got home was when he realized that he had taken the Yaoi book with him. "OMIGOSH! I should return this to Gaara's sister right away!"


End file.
